Pura Frencha.

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When I’m in other countries, I often try not to speak and just hope everyone assumes that my nationality is French.  I find this to be a very good strategy until speaking is required.  Then I usually say English words with a French accent.  This is really what I do quite well.  I have a real talent for speaking English with a French accent, like:

Oh!  I am zo happy zat zo have ze bread.  I love zee bread.  Ze bread is like ze love.  It is warm and doughy and fills zoo right zup.  C’est la vie!

Basically, if I speak in English but then end it with “C’est la vie!” then everyone’s like, “Wow.  What a great speaker of our language.  Man, she is good.”  I wish there was a job where all you had to do was pretend you were French but you could still speak English.  Maybe I could see if I could be like a stereotypical French character in an American cartoon.  Yes, I will look into that.  I’m sure my parents would be very proud of that career choice.  I know I would find it personally satisfying.

Grave.

I just said the French equivalent of “totally.”  I learned this at a French picnic I went to and when I said it, my French friends were tres impresse!  I am unsure if this means I am talking like a French surfer.  God, I hope so.  I think I could really pull that off.  Minus the surfing and the speaking of French.  I am amazing at holding a surf board on sand.

Grave.

Recently, I was in a foreign country that spoke Spanish: Costa Rica.

Here, when someone asked us where we from, I really wanted to say “France.”  However, I said, “New York.”  This gives the impression that I am from New York City, when in fact I am not.  I am simply from the state of New York.  It does not matter though.  There are many ways to create a personal image and this is one of them.  I like to call it “part of my brand” or “that’s just me being charming!”   It’s like when I say, “I was super good at Clarinet when I was young, like nearly professional.”  This is not really true.  I was very good in seventh and eighth grade and then middle school ended, I stopped practicing and I became incredibly average and then suddenly, below average and then even more suddenly, no longer a part of the high school band.

I say that I want to be French, but really I don’t know.  I like saying in French, “Je suis Americanne.”  It’s like, “I’m American, but I’m a very certain kind of American.”  It adds to my endless allure.  It’s like, “I’m a hybrid species.  I am the amphibian of cultures!  I was there on the wall watching you, but you hardly noticed me because of my excellent cultural camouflage.”

Being in a Spanish speaking country and not speaking any Spanish except for five words (gracias, buenos dios, buenos tarde, si, buenos noche) , made me realize how quickly I need to learn French.  Like super quickly.  Currently, I am 33% fluency in Duolingo.  I keep getting tripped up when Duolingo wants me to repeat the phrase back to them.  Today I was angrily yelling into my computer “That newspaper is current!  That newspaper is current!”  I wonder what my neighbors think.  They’re probably like, “Wow, don’t give that woman any outdated news.”

And, speaking of news, this just in: I need to go listen to a French podcast while I cook a healthy and delicious meal.  Anyone got any recommendations?  Also, I really like your high top sneakers.  It’s cool they glow in the dark.

A bientot, tout le monde!

 

 

 

 

6 thoughts on “Pura Frencha.

  1. Cindy's Travel Diaries says:

    No need to use the French accent when you ask for some bread ! They’ll assume you’re French, as we are the only one (with the Italians) eating bread with everything ! 😉
    “El pan es la vida” .. or “Le pain c’est la vie!”, depending on whether you’re in Costa Rica or France !

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