Hallo, Ween.

img_0991Oh hi!  I love your costume.  That wig looks so real!  And, your makeup is also spot on 1981.  Is that like a Kiss reference?  Funny. Nice.  I like your ironic Billy Ray Cyrus t-shirt.  That’s a good joke.

Oh.  You’re not in costume.  Ah, yes.  I see that now.  That is just your style.  That is you just being cool.  Totally makes sense now.

And, I am in a very hot penguin costume.  And so I take it this is not a costumed theme blind date?  Hmm.  I think I got Ron’s directions a bit wrong.  Well, I guess I’ll just sit down with you here in this really charming and quaint Pizzeria Uno’s and order a raspberry iced tea.

So, my French is coming along famously.  Yes.  Except for the small problem of not memorizing any of the past participles.  I don’t even entirely know how to speak in the past.  I think I could say “Oui, j’ai mange tout le pizza.  Oui.  C’etait pour tout le monde, mais j’ai tres faim.”  But, that’s pretty much the limit because I don’t know how to conjugate besides first group (-er?) verbs.  I do know how to say things in the near future: like “Allors, je vais boire tout de toi vin, mais je vais boire cette tres doucement allors tu ne sais pas.”

However, I think my French teacher and I really understand each other.  You know, last class, I was the only student to attend so we sat there chatting in French about Costa Rican forests and then in English about love and work and New York City and all these things.  I left class inspired and went to a little pub to eat hot soup and write.  It was rather lovely.  I like when Vincent tells me in English that he is going to drink his soup.  That’s what they say in French: drink soup.  How absurdly bizarre and wonderful their verb to action correlation.

Well, my flippers just got stained by pizza grease and I’m feeling a bit sick from these loaded potato skins, so I think I might just skip home early tonight, if you don’t mind.

Oh and happy Halloween.  Tonight you can be anyone.

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C’est mauvais! (not really).

The above image is how I feel today.

You see, Debbie, (that’s what your name is, right? that’s what it says on this sheet in front of me. Oh wait, is your name Deb V.? Oh no, Debbie. Yeah, I was right the first time), you see, Debbie, I took a sick day today.

I hate taking sick days. I like to be active. I teach at a college, so my job is interesting and exciting.   It was different when I used to work in that tuna processing plant, but now that I teach at a college, I have a high level of job satisfaction.

But, today I feel like a run over raccoon.

Yes, it’s true Debbie. I do.

So, in French this phrase is actually not to describe being sick. I tried to learn it by illustrating someone whose arm had been cut off (terrible, rare medical events is a common way I learn new ideas), but really, if this were to happen to you, your arm detaching from your body, don’t use that phrase. Instead, use this phrase if the weather outside is rainy or stormy or snowy–like “I know my arm just fell off, but, man, is it still raining out? What the heck is up with this weather? C’est mauvais.”

Got it?

Good.

Also, I’m trying this new thing on Amazon where I select products that relate to my blog. I’d like to introduce you to French weather words. It’s something I might buy and it’s cool.  If you want to check it out.  If you don’t.  Hey, it’s cool.  I didn’t eat tuna every day at the plant when I worked there: only some days.

So, Debbie, you said you were here for an interview? I should tell you that I actually don’t even work here. I was just trying to find the cafe and got a little turned around. Good luck with your job search. I do feel the world needs more transgeneticists, but I’m actually a writing teacher who is on a sick day. Can I ask you what the weather’s like outside? C’est mauvais? Ah, oui.  I’ll wear my raincoat.