Les premiers trois jours. . .

Bonjour!  Pour mes illustrations de phrase française, je vais essayer écrire dans français.  C’est un petit challenge!  

A voila!  Les premiers trois jours de le projet: #jenaimepasdessiner See this page: Je n’ame pas dessiner

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Aussi: un site pour la grammaire aidé! (tres cool) https://www.scribens.fr/

 

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Call for illustrated non-English phrases

Calling anyone who wants to do this.

In an attempt to illustrate foreign languages, all of us here at
Le Poisson Nage, welcome submissions of 

  1. a non-English word or phrase
  2. that is illustrated
  3. please include your name and country 
  4. and an English translation of the phrase
  5. send to lexleclerc8 AT gmail.com
  6. I will pick the best ones and display them with your name and country

See my project here: Je n’ame pas dessiner

Oh Já.

Ah góðan daginn, there.  I didn’t see you there.  I’m just practicing some useful Icelandic phrases in my car.

Why did you ask?

Or wait did you just say, “bye?”  You are getting in your car and going to work?

Wait! Let me tell you anyway!  Here I’ll button up your last button of your Nordic sweater and also strategically death hold your cardigan so you cannot escape until I finish this story.  Is this wool?  This is nice .

I’m practicing Icelandic because I’m going to be traveling around Iceland for seven days. What hotels are we staying in?  I know you didn’t ask that but it feels like you want to know from the way you keep unlocking your car as we’re talking.

Well, here’s the trick my love, we aren’t staying in any hotels!  Because our Campervan is a hotel.  Bam!  I’m dropping your keys as if they were a mic.

Oh sorry.  Was that fob expensive?  Eh.  I don’t give a fob.  It was worth it.

Wait, don’t leave–your button is a little tricky, let me just unfasten it and fasten it again.  Your breath smells of  almonds.  Are there almonds around?  I need to eat some of those.  We’ll probably bring a lot of almonds in the van and also beans and rice because it has a cooler and a stove.  Yeah, no big deal.  And we can look up how to go cold water snorkeling in Þingvellir National Park using WIFI!

So,  first we were going to stay in a camper van that did not have any heat or wifi but then I e-mailed Screenshot 2017-07-27 at 9.32.35 AMa company called Northbound and my view of Iceland, campervans and Northbound immediately skyrocketed.  I began to e-mail with the Co-Founder, Arnar, and he allowed me to fulfill my dream of writing a blog in exchange for a nicer van.  This is huge because it gives me purpose and makes me feel valued.

So, I obviously began referring to Arnar, not as the co-founder of a great company, but rather as my “friend from Iceland.”  I would just casually say things like, “Vincent, did you see Arnar’s van?  The duvet looks super nice!  And we can have running water!”  or since I am currently staying in a cottage with my family,  I  would run into an anonymous family member in  the kitchen while making coffee and comment, “Could you hand me the Nespresso cup?  Thanks.  Oh I got an e-mail from Arnar in Iceland, you know my contact slash friend, today.”  This would lead to questions about the campervan.  I conveniently had my computer nearby so I could show them the photos. They were amazed. They thought the van looked cozy and warm.

Screenshot 2017-07-27 at 9.46.00 AMMy  dad seemed most curious about this button–“does it control the heat?”  I don’t know.  But, I will find out.

A million good things have already happened because of this transaction.  For instance, I was speaking with my bank today and said I needed to use my card  to rent a van in Iceland but didn’t want foreign fees.  The representative, Shauna/Shelia, was like “Wow.  Iceland.  Awesome!”  I felt as if I grew closer to Shauna/Shelia in that moment.  Like she was someone I could really trust.  Also, there were no foreign transaction fees.

Oh my gosh, your sweater is being pulled away from my hands!  Oh, I see, you are walking towards your car.   Where did you get this sweater? Iceland?  It looks warm and cozy like something you could crawl inside and roam around glaciers in.

To find out more about campervans in Iceland check out these sites:

Northbound: https://www.northbound.is/

Grand Iceland: http://www.gi.is/

This song will be on our iceland playlist for the trip.  Please let me know of other good Icelandic bands.   Takk fyrir!

MFA Basketball Team

Bonjour tout le monde!  I’m sorry it’s been a while.  I’ve had quite a July.  Let me tell you about it, Frida.

So, listen.  I know I invited you out to lunch to celebrate your recent promotion at your unknown workplace, but  I have no idea what this promotion entails.  You are a data sourcing manager?  Yes, those are words but what do they mean?  Not to dismiss your entire career, but it doesn’t sound like a real thing.

So, while we wait to order, I’ll tell you about something real: my MFA basketball team.

I graduated from my Masters in Fine Arts program in Fiction with a concentration in basketball.  You know how I texted you a while ago about my MFA basketball team: The New England Flash Fictions?  Well, this is that team.

We are D-1 in the Northeast Poetry Sport League (PSL).  The fiction players are very good at attacking (good hand eye coordination), while the nonfiction players are better at defense (people often question their personal essays so they are used to blocks and checks and stuff like that).  The poets are really good at jump shots as they can easily ascend from the literal to the abstract.   Yes, of course there is a doping problem, Frida.  Why’d you even bring that up?  Are you data sourcing right now?  Is that what this is?

Anyway, we went into the regionals and we won.  I am happy to show you these photos on my phone, if you’ll just lean over here.  No, that smell isn’t the velour booths of this moderately priced chain restaurant.  I’m wearing wool and it’s wet.  Sorry we don’t all own seasonally appropriate clothing, Frida.

This photo is of me giving an inspiring motivational lecture before our game in the final four.  We dress in regular clothes and put these jerseys over it.  Yes, I run in leather boots.  What is the name of your company, LinEx?  LemEx?  Lemons?  I have no idea.  I know the logo is a blue circle and a grey circle but that tells me nothing.

Oh, what? The waitress? She’s here now.  She can hear me saying this?

Ah, yes, hello, I’ll have the tuna sandwich but can you make it with breadsticks instead of bread?  And I’ll have half fries and half salad, yes–the unlimited option that combines both choices.  They’ve made it for me before.  Don’t worry.  Yes, I will have another raspberry iced tea but can you also order me a glass of house pinot grigio and then check back here and when I’m about 1/4 done with this glass of wine, immediately place an order for another glass, but make it a pink zin and then follow that by a glass of cold milk?  And is your name pronounced “Dahria” or “Dare-ia?”  I’m going to need to know for the comment card which I intend to fill out.  And, I require a senior discount.  I know I appear young, but I swear to you that I’m 65 years of age. Please don’t make this embarrassing for both of us Doraya.

So anyway, we didn’t win the final.  The other team was really good.  They were beat poets and experimental fiction writers.  They had moves I’ve never seen.  To give you an idea, they entered the court by snapping.  That’s pretty much all I need to say.  I got a bloody nose immediately.  It was stressful.  I don’t want to talk about it.  But, I will, if you insist.

Oh you have to leave?  I was going to order you the free double chocolate caramel brownie as a celebration, but if you have to go then I’ll just “like” your update on LinkedIn.

Okay, that’s fine.  If that’s what you you want.  I’ll just be here with my milk clicking the generic “Congratulations on your new position” pre-written words.